A modest little table topic

2018 has turned into 2019. 2017 was still the year a moment ago. 2020 is as surely to follow, and in but a few turns of tide, in but a brief instant, death unquestionably follows.

For many, 2019 marks the heaviest point in history as every preceding year before it. Many see existence as quiet apocalyptic, shrouded in misery, decay. Solid ground lost all but strictly figurative meaning.

Others see an exciting period marked with innovation, transformation, hope. Some consider each new year, each moment the best yet to occur.

One may have nothing, and yet feel glorious, appreciative, enlightened, free, in the sense of consciousness. One may, on the other hand, be privileged with all manner of inexhaustible spoil modern civilization has to offer, and yet, be plagued by tension, anxiety, lack of meaning.

Further yet, one may undertake varying roles with time. After much perseverance, a pawn becomes the queen, only to find itself immediately eliminated. Similarly, a pawn might, in a manner of speaking, accidentally become the queen, live to experience much glory, only to ultimately remain oblivious.

Some seek a defining strategy, varying direction in response to changing circumstances, only to lose all sight of pursuit. Others pursue nothing and yet attain much. Many attain precisely what they don’t want, after much intricate maneuver to avoid it, when otherwise entirely random set of circumstances would not as much as dare in the hope of such an unlikely encounter of fate.

It is quiet theatrical, how one may exert impressive effort to not only avoid pursuing a task with diligence, but appear to arguably sabotage the deed, and yet be deemed a perfectionist. What is it I once wrote? One has to not want the thing they want in order to attain it, and one certainly must not ask for it.

Believe in the total freedom of choice, in the necessarily restricted freedom, or in total determinism. Perceive the freedom as inhibiting, or chain as liberating. Subscribe to complex models of causality, or yield to naive simplifications in midst of recognized unknowns. Meticulously pursue, or eliminate. Restart randomly, geometrically, or follow your own heuristics. Acknowledge certain meaning, or disregard. Gradually occupy your mind, aggressively seek emptiness, or appeal to any linear combination. Proceed as you will.